The Strange Little Tales

Okay, confession time. I AM ANGUS MONSHROUD!!!!!! I wrote/did everything attributed to him, and he was, in fact, my original penname. There is no separate entity that is Angus Monshroud, only me, the mind behind him. Confession over. And now for something completely different, but the reason for this confession.

The Strange Little Tales
By Angus Monshroud

Larry The Conformist

This is the tale of Larry. He is just like everyone else on this little rock of a planet. He listens to his teachers without question. He is never (gasp!) creative. He is a total jerk. Suddenly he died a terrible death of shock when something interesting happened in this story.

Sally

Sally is a good little girl. She swears when her teachers can’t hear.(like a good little girl) She listens to Britney Spears. (like a good little girl) She dresses like a harlot. (like a good little girl) Wait a second, wasn’t she supposed to be a good little girl?

Joe The Psychopath

This is the tale of poor insane little Joe. He is a psychopath. His favorite weekend activities are polishing his weapons and watching slasher movies. His teacher is afraid of him. Eventually he was committed to an insane asylum and died there at the age of either 84 or 48.

Mary Ann

Mary Ann is a descendant of Mary Antoinette. She thinks herself above the common people, so she never compromises. She is very bad at history, and therefore has never studied Mary Antoinette. No one likes her much, except Louis. Eventually they got married and were guillotined for no apparent reason.

Poor Little Sammy

This is the tragic tale of poor little Sammy. He lives in a tragic little house on a tragic little street. He lives a tragic little life. He never thought his tragic little life would ever get any better. As it turns out, he was right.

A Despicable Person

Edweena was a despicable person. She frequently tormented her little brother Albert. She shaved the cats and glued little pictures of Marilyn Manson all over them. (If that’s not cruel I don’t know what is.) She broke her mother’s vase and blamed it on her cousin Edward. She eventually disappeared without a trace. Albert and Edward were overjoyed.

Albert’s Mishap

Albert loved to ride his bike. He could do all kinds of tricks. He never wore a helmet. His mother said he would horribly maim himself if he was not careful. He was not careful in the slightest. One day he did a trick, fell, and horribly maimed himself. MORAL: Don’t horribly main yourself.

Angus The Oddball

This is the tale of Angus. He is very different. He does not dress, think, eat, or breathe like anyone else. His teachers talk about him as “that weird kid”. He never smiles. But he is the happiest kid around, because he is creative. Everyone else hates him. What did you expect?