Don't Follow

Dedicated to all AIDS victims and their loved ones.

Don't Follow

I want to let you in close to me
But you'll see how much my hands shake
Your hands are large and soft and strong
I can't bring myself to cripple them

If you look into my eyes
You could see the horrors in my cells
Like a brand running through my veins
You'll see it behind my eyes and run from me

You should be afraid to love me
Afraid of what I could do to you
Make you like me, shaking and dying
Even in your strong protecting arms

If I let you love me
I will hurt you, corrupt you
You will wither like I do even now
I can't let you throw yourself away

You couldn't love me if you knew
You'd push me away, and leave me here
Shaking and sweating and dying
Alone in the dark that flows in my blood

If you came to love me
I would make you rot away into nothing
You would flee my embrace in shame and fear
And both of us would die alone, like crumpled paper in the gutter

I cannot let you close to me
You will never forgive me
The loss of everything you could be
For one night of melancholy tenderness

I cannot let you love me
I will wither alone
I will have one thought of comfort
In knowing you will not follow me